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:: A NEW ENGLISH LANGUAGE :: (2)Post a New Message | Post a Reply
Aug 16 2003, 5:34 PM

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from: Washington, DC


The European Commission has just announced an

agreement whereby English will be the official

language of the EU rather than German which was the

other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her

Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling

had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5

year phase-in plan that would be known as


In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".

Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with

joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the"k".

This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have

1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond

year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with

"f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling

kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more

komplikated changes are possible. Governments will

enkorage the removal of double letters, which have

always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent

"e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should

go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps

such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd

from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of

kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten

styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and

evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru!

Oct 24 2006, 12:35 AM

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since: Oct 24, 2006
from: somewhere

ye, very humor. Thank you.


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